A Room Without A View
by Dana's-Alice
Summary: This story takes place in the 3rd hunger games book, after Johanna and Katniss get a room together. It focuses on their difficulties dealing with the aftermath of the games, and now being in a district that they dont trust the only way they can find comfort and safety is in each other. Eventual Joniss :) Johanna x Katniss
1. Chapter 1

Johanna sat on her new bed for the first time trying to ignore the sound of running water as her new roommate showered in the attached room. As she sat there she unconsciously stroked her head, a habit she had formed after the capitol shaved it, although thankfully it was growing back quickly. She took in her new surroundings, her new 'home', it was basic, two beds, a set of draws, one for Katniss and one for herself. Uncrossing her legs she stepped off the bed and wandered over to the two identical draws, she opened the top one already knowing what it contained; her second set of clothes and a single set of night wear issued by District 13, that was it, nothing personal, nothing from her home district just the same clothes that everyone else owned. She her axe of course, the new one that Beetee had helped craft and perfect for her when he heard that she was alive, but it was stored with the rest of the weapons and whilst she was forced to wear this 'mentally disorientated' band it was so out of reach to her that it may as well not exist.

She shut her draw hiding the lack of sentiment and personality, without thinking she opened the draw Katniss had taken, unsure of what to expect, but hoping for the same contents of her draw as a way to comfort her that not everyone felt their life experiences had to be contained in items that symbolised some special meaning. However the uniform clothes were not alone in Katniss' draw there were several items that Johanna wished to explore. But even she knew that snooping through peoples belongings was wrong, especially a friend who had given up her room with her mother and sister so that she had been able to leave the hospital. And so listening to her moral judgements, a thing that she rarely did in life, and shut the draw. It was only then that she realised the sound of running water had stopped and the feeling of being watched hit her. She span around prepared to defend herself from whoever it was that was with her, another habit she had picked up thanks to the capitol, only to find Katniss stood wrapped in a towel.

"I'm sorry, I didnt look properly I was just…curious" she felt bad, it had been less than an hour since they moved in and she had already risked the trust of her roommate.

"That's ok feel free to look" Katniss smiled, she didn't want it to look forced but she was so exhausted that she knew it wasn't a full smile. Without saying a word Johanna opened the draw again, she lifted out a small golden necklace that she instantly recognised as the one Peeta wore in the Quarter Quell, noticing a small hinge she opened it revealing a three pictures, Katniss' Mother and sister, whom she recognised from the hospital, and the third picture of Gale the 'cousin'. She closed the necklace and gently put it back from where she took it. The next item that intrigued her was a small blue book, as she flicked through the pages she realised it was a book of plants, with a small description about them, their healing qualities, whether they were edible or not, and where one was most likely to find them. She knew straight away that the pictures between the pages had been drawn by Peeta's hand. She had heard Prim talking about the book in the hospital, whilst she was medicated, so most of the information was nowhere to be found in her mind but she definitely recalled that Peeta had been the artist behind it. She closed the book and left it where it was in the draw before lifting out one of the silver parachutes that she knew only too well. As she pulled the top off she remembered how thankful she had been receiving these little packages in the games. Within the parachute was the spiel that had kept them all alive and a small pearl

"Is this the pearl Peeta gave you, down on the beach?"

"Yeah, I keep it in the hope that one day he will remember that he gave it to me" It was a hard thing for Katniss to talk about, because although she did not love Peeta romantically, like most of the capitol believed, she did love him as a friend and even as family, and hoped that one day the old Peeta found his way back.

Johanna realised that it was painful for Katniss and so she placed it back into the parachute and placed it back into the draw, shutting it away.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have looked" there was that feeling of guilt again, uncomfortably she ran her hand over her hair again, stroking the shorter parts that still didn't quite hide her newest scars.

"Don't be, we both have our painful memories because of the games" Katniss didn't know what Johanna's story was but she remembered the pain in her eyes when she had shouted that she was not like the rest of the victors in the arena because the capitol couldn't hurt her anymore, she had nothing and no one to lose; leaving Katniss to only assume the amount she had lost as a result of her 'victory'

Feeling the atmosphere drop in the room Johanna decided it was best to try and get some sleep, so she left the room to brush her teeth, but mostly to allow Katniss to get changed into her nightwear without an audience. When she return she crossed the room switched off the light and climbed into her bed, thankful that she didn't have to listen to the sounds of various hospital machines while she laid there in the dark.


	2. Chapter 2

Katniss was lost in a dream that seemed so real she would never be able to escape, she was running through the forest being chased by the mutts that she had fought against in the first games and that since had never left her nightmares. She was running so fast that branches whipped at her face and arms as she tried to escape the snarling beasts behind her. She could feel her body slowing, her determination decreasing as she began to realise that there was no escape from these artificial beasts, she had no arrows left in her quiver and with every step her speed was dramatically falling, meaning it was only a matter of time until the beast with Rue's eyes would be close enough to sink its fangs into her. She couldn't help but look back towards the sound of the beasts, trying to gain motivation to make her legs move faster. As soon as she snapped back round she halted immediately as a scream tried to escape her but came out as a mere whimper.

'Peeta! Oh my god your alive" genuine happiness washed over her body, finally she was safe, together they would find a way to escape the mutts and survive  
"Peeta we have to go! The Mutts are nearly here" she could hear their snarled breathing growing louder and louder.

"Peeta?!" Katniss stood not knowing what was wrong with Peeta, as soon as she realised that not once had he moved to run with her, or had a single emotion at being reunited with the girl he couldn't help but fall further in love with

"Peeta?" she questioned again "We really have to leave" she grabbed him and began to shake him hoping that she could bring him back from this catatonic state. But before Katniss realised what had just happened, she was choking.

Her hands grasped manically to get a grip on the hands wrapped around her neck. The hands that had thrown bread to her when she was starving, that had held her and offered her support in the games, these hands that were barely capable of holding a weapon let alone handling one. And now it was those precise hands that caused her to flail about hoping for just enough room between his fingers and her neck. Her sight began to waver as the pounding in her head increased, causing her to choke out his name, in an attempt to beg him to stop.

Katniss hated herself for it but she began to punch at Peeta, knowing that she wasn't going to be able to fight falling unconscious for much longer. No matter how hard she hit him his grasp on her didn't ease. Her body began to slouch as her legs struggled to hold her up. The Mutts were now right behind her judging on how loud they had become, and the last image she saw before her eyes closed was Peeta looking down on her, with eyes she knew well, it was the same deathly snake glare that Snow carried.

As darkness fell over Katniss' dream only the faint image of Peeta, and his inhuman eyes, was still present. Katniss knew that she was only faintly sleeping now, probably because she had moved around so much whilst she slept, and so used this lull in dreams to wake herself up. As she began to wake up she realised something was wrong. Something was restricting her arms, panic set in extremely quickly as she realised that the dream was over but now she was in real trouble, she was somewhere dark and being held down. She began to scream.

XXXXXX

Johanna was shocked at how quickly Katniss managed to fall asleep, from when her and Prim had chatted in the hospital she had been told of how Katniss would stir until Prim settled her or until she woke herself up thrashing around and spent the rest of the night sat up night reading through the book of plants, running her fingers over the lines of the illustrations that Peeta had added. Prim explained that worse were the nights that Katniss had no intention of trying to sleep and instead just sat against the set of draws completely lost in whatever memories she was reliving, Prim had even told how on the worst nights Katniss wouldn't even react when she nudged her older sister trying to lure her out of her thoughts and in to cuddle up safely with her.

But here, tonight, Katniss had clearly been fighting sleep before she gave in and climbed under her covers. Because of this Johanna quietly slid across the room, switched the light off and returned to her bed where she got bored with simply laying in the dark and had sat up cross legged watching over the room. She knew that she were as safe as she could possibly be in this room, there was of course always the chance of someone rogue within the district who would make it their mission to take down the Mockingjay and whoever stood in their way, that person being Johanna, but on a whole this room was the safest place she had been in a long time. Johanna thought about it and came to the realisation that it wasn't just in this room that people would have to her to get to Katniss, she knew that she was far from her best both physically and mentally but she had taken it on herself to protect Katniss. Even if Katniss had a whole team dedicated to, providing for her, prepping her and most importantly protecting her, Johanna knew that they couldn't be trusted, certain members of the team could be trusted more than others but on a whole Victors had to look out for one another. A thought that the Capitol had tried to stamp out with the last games by turning friends into enemies. Maybe that was one of the things that made Johanna want to protect Katniss even more, as another act of defiance in the eyes of the Capitol. Johanna had considered trying to sleep but her and Katniss had never slept at the same time unless they were both under the effects of morphling, but every other time one had slept whilst the other watched. And so Johanna watched.

She watched as Katniss began to move about, it started off small, little jerks here and there, but quickly progressed until she was flailing under her covers, saying something and 'Rue's eyes' and then calling out Peeta's name. Johanna made her way across the room and placed her hand on Katniss' shoulder

"Katniss, it's just a dream' she whispered of course her attempts to gentle wake Katniss were futile, and Johanna could only think of one way to wake Katniss and that was to jolt her from her dreams. She didn't like the idea but she couldn't leave her in this nightmare, but just as Johanna was about to wake the now sweating Katniss, she remembered what Prim had told her about how she would cuddle up with her sister, sometimes for the whole night just to help her settle. Johanna didn't know if it would work but it was certainly better than waking Katniss in a way that would cause her to panic, and so she gently climbed over her sleeping friend and slid in behind her, slowly placing one arm under Katniss' head, and wrapping her free arm around the still kicking woman.

"Shhhhh, its alright, you're not alone anymore" Johanna whispered whilst stroking her arm and hair to try and soothe her.

Just as Katniss' movements began to calm, and her shouting eased to a mere mumble, Johanna relaxed. It was only as she allowed her own body soften that she realised just how ridged Katniss had become, and before she could say anything to see if Katniss had awoken not knowing why Johanna was cuddled up to her a scream filled the room. Katniss turned over with such speed she even caught Johanna off guard. Swinging her fist as she did, punching Johanna right in the jaw before scrambling off the bed and jumping up into a defensive stance.


	3. Chapter 3

Katniss had felt the 'restraints' which she realised were now arms holding her down for whatever reason, loosen, and so without even thinking about what could be happening decided to swing first and ask questions later.

She now stood in the middle of the pitch black room unable to see her restrainer, but she was more than ready for whoever or whatever to run towards her after getting over the shock of being punched. But all she heard was a small groan, maybe she had hit whoever it was harder than she had thought and they were now in a state of dazed confusion.

A state that Katniss herself was thrown into as the light in the bedroom turned on revealing Johanna stood over by the switch, Katniss moved closer to her and turned immediately to the bed to protect them both from whatever she was about to find.

"what...?" Katniss ran towards the bed finding nothing more than a small blood stain

"Who were you expecting?" Johanna laughed realising that Katniss hadn't yet figured out what had happened

"There was someone he..." Katniss looked up only to find Johanna with a split lip that had bled over her chin.

"It was you?! I hit you?!" Katniss didn't know whether to feel angry or guilty for punching Johanna

"Yeah, and I can promise that's the last time you'll catch me by surprise" Johanna's spark was clearly back. But Katniss wanted more, she needed an explanation of why Johanna had been in her bed and why now she was stood bleeding with no anger at all.

"Look you were thrashing about in your sleep and calling out, I through maybe if I held you like Peeta did in the games maybe you would calm, clearly it didn't work" she smiled again as she wiped at the blood that was now dripping onto the front of her district 13 issued nightwear. Although the whole of her jaw was throbbing causing her split lip to sting more with everything moment, she wasn't going to show it and so she crossed back across the room and settled down on her bed, a place that she decided in hindsight she probably should have stayed.

Katniss left the room without a word, Johanna wasn't hurt by this but she wasn't impressed by how all of this had gone down. Although she had to admit that she was great full for her ability to sneak by people unnoticed, because if she hadn't made it to the light switch then Katniss would definitely have attacked her, and Johanna had no intention of hitting Katniss back, especially not on a night in which she had been trying to protect her.

With that thought Katniss re-entered the room holding the small first aid box that every room had as standard, she sat down on Johanna's bed and unclipped the lid.

"What are you doing?" Johanna had spent so long in the hospital that she didn't want to feel like a patient in her own room. Katniss didn't stop however, she dripped a liquid that Johanna assumed was some sort of antiseptic onto a cotton pad. Katniss placed the pad against Johanna's bottom lip, only just noticing the swelling and the bruising appearing across her cheek and chin. The contact between the antiseptic and Johanna's lip made her jolt a little, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to hide the embarrassment at her reaction to a small amount of pain. Katniss noticed the jolt, and although her first thought was to mock Johanna, the most common form of exchange the pair had, she could see that Johanna was feeling vulnerable and it was actually her fault that Johanna was in this position, she had only been trying to help and instead had gotten herself punched.

Katniss started to move the pad back to Johanna's lip but the uncomfortable look in her eyes made Katniss want to somehow protect her now. Katniss lifted her free hand and gently placed it on Johanna's unbruised cheek before beginning to tend to the other again with the pad. She left the open wound alone and instead began to clean the blood off from her chin.

Johanna still looked confused at the contact, her whole body began to stiffen as she watched Katniss care for her. Katniss had only really given first aid in emergency situations, usually with people who were to out of it to be able to wait for proper help, like Peeta in the games or when she helped out with extreme cases that were brought to her Mother, so she wasn't used to being watched so intensely. Prim was the only other person that she had ever put bandages on or sorted out scrapes and scratches but she had always been more interested in looking at the cut itself and thinking about how she would have patched herself up differently to however Katniss had done it. Of course Prim never told Katniss how to do it better but she couldn't help her natural interest in the whole healing process.

When Katniss had finished she packed away the kit but remained sitting on Johanna's bed

"It should heal up over the next few days and just remember to be careful with it" Katniss knew this wasn't what she wanted to say, she wanted to thank Johanna and apologise for attacking her when all she was doing was trying to soothe her.

"I'll remember to duck next time! That's for sure" Johanna replied trying to gain back the appearance of strength she had lost with her vulnerability over the last few moments, but it was obvious that it was forced.

"We should try and get some sleep" Katniss decided to leave Johanna's last comment

"Try to keep it down this time" Johanna raised her eyebrow to match her smug smile

Katniss placed the first aid kit on the draws, left Johanna's side and climbed into her own bed. Neither woman slept for the rest of the night, they just laid quietly thinking. Wondering how things had gotten this bad, Wondering if they could have done things differently, whether or not 'winning' the Hunger Games and becoming victors had actually been worth the riches they were showered in, but mostly wondering If the other was asleep. Nether checked the other, but given how quiet the room was they assumed they were awake, as no nightmares filled the room.

XXXXX

Katniss rose first, trying to be quiet as she went, she got changed into her uniform, Johanna simply laid still trying not to let Katniss know that she was awake. Johanna and Katniss had never had any issue with changing with each other, both were used to being criticised then stripped, waxed, prepped and dressed, being naked with an audience of people was just part of the job. In fact the two were so unbothered whilst being naked that whilst in hospital they would often compare their newest scars and talk of scars that they had before the capitol erased them.

But here today, Johanna couldn't face having to be at her best and be able to converse and joke, so she just laid there until she heard the door to their room shut. As soon as she was alone she touched her finger to her lip, filling the sharp sting as she did, she continued to feeling around the wound trying to assess just how swollen it was, but she was thankful that it didn't feel too big, but this didn't stop her holding on to the embarrassment of getting punched in the first place.


	4. Chapter 4

After several hours had passed, Johanna couldn't be sure of how many exactly, Katniss stormed into the room and straight into the bathroom, not stopping to look down at Johanna once.

"Hey to you too" Johanna whispered as she heard the shower water begin to run and Katniss forcefully shut the shower door. Johanna merely sat there continuing to think about her time in the games, the last games to be specific. She wondered how the remaining victors would survive this because they were the enemies of the capitol to be made a point of, and worse than that they weren't the leaders or even true allies of District 13. Sure they looked to be, they looked to be the people leading the rebellion under the control of the Mockingjay but even Johanna who hadn't be to many of the official meetings knew that this was far from true.

In this moment the running of the water began to get louder and louder, Johanna couldn't ignore it anymore and the sound of the water running in their bathroom began to take over her thoughts, her whole world began to sway and swirl as nausea rose up from her stomach radiating out to her limbs. She hated that she had no control over her fear of water now, sometimes it barely affected her, other than an uneasy feeling deep down, but then, like today, her fear consumed her. Before she had been a powerful swimmer, a talent that treated her well in the 75th hunger games but now it left her trying to fight her flight reflex, after the Capitol had continuously drowned her in an attempt to break her. She knew that she couldn't outrun this fear and that in this room was the safest she had been in a long time but her rational thoughts did nothing to stop the tears falling from her eyes.

She forced her head into her hands knowing that if she didn't stop crying soon that Katniss would find her in this state, and after the way she stormed into the room Johanna assumed that she wouldn't want to deal with an emotional and currently unstable woman. Johanna thrust her hand under her pillow and pulled out a pine cone, holding it up to her face and closing her eyes she lost herself within the smell of it. The smell of her home. All else even the sound of the water faded away and all the remained was the smell of familiarity. She hadn't put this cone into her draw because she had decided to hide it and hide what it told about her to others. The fact that she needed this cone, to her, demonstrated weakness, because when it came down to it the only thing that could stop her crying and give her any sense of hope when she was alone was the memories of what had once been, all trapped with a single scent.

This cone also held more secrets about the crying woman holding it, more than its reminder of home it showed her trust in Katniss, and an unlikely bond between the two of them. When Katniss had brought it to her because of its link with district 7 she had left Johanna speechless, unable to repay her for such a gesture. She knew that Katniss believed that she would always be in Johanna's debt for saving her life as many times as she did in the quarter quell, but she was wrong, as to Johanna this pine cone was the single most important possession in her life, so much so that she had hid it. Johanna felt guilty for feeling jealous that Katniss had sentimental possessions and for not thinking about the pine cone earlier when she looked in her own draw. Little did anyone else know, but this pine cone had more power in it than any axe that Johanna had ever wielded.

XX

Johanna heard the water stop, and with the silence her reality began to reappear around her, without hesitation she placed the pine cone back under her pillow and dried her eyes for a final time just to be safe.

Katniss re-entered the room, looking calmer than before, she readjusted her towel around herself and sat on her own bed

"So I'm guessing the meeting didn't go well then" Johanna asked, even though it sounded sarcastic she genuinely did want to know what was going on within the district and more importantly with Katniss.

"You could say that" Katniss replied bluntly, but as soon as the words left her mouth she knew that Johanna was one of the few people that she didn't have to push away in a bid to keep them safe, she was a Victor, and had been one for a lot longer than Katniss. And so Katniss had to remind herself that some of the people involved with this war were known better by Johanna than herself.

"Coin doesn't want to send our group, the victors, into the war. She thinks it's more important for us to carry on doing these propos" Katniss could see that Johanna's emotions were bittersweet at this, Katniss assumed that Johanna was that Katniss had continued the conversation letting her know the situation but also anger at how political this district was becoming, more concerned with their image than taking down Snow. Little did she know that the pleasure was caused by the relief that Katniss wouldn't be going to fight yet another battle.

"Coin knows that she can't trust you" Johanna's comment was so blunt that it took Katniss by surprise, so much so that before she knew what she was doing she was now standing and shouting words that she hadn't truly thought about before she spoke

"What are you saying?! That she would be a fool to trust me?!" of course Johanna was completely unfazed by this out burst

"Well yeah" Katniss was so lost in her anger that all she could do was scoff until Johanna continued

"Everyone knows that you are going to do what you think is right, everything you've ever done has proven that you don't respect authority just because it is in charge, you do what you think is best every time not caring what trouble you get into. You volunteered for Prim, not for the pride of being in the Hunger Games but to protect her, you made an ally with Rue even though the games does everything it can to turn people against each other. And that wasn't even the dangerous stuff, the berries, uniting the victors, taking down the arena of the quarter quell and through it all starting a war. When it comes down to it Katniss, anyone in power should fear you because you are not a girl to be reckoned with!" Johanna had realised part way Katniss had calmed down, but she felt the need to keep explaining, she wanted Katniss to understand how others saw her, and as well as realise just how important she was, not just to this rebellion but to the people she had met along the way.

Katniss smiled, there was no reply to what had just been said that would be good enough, and so a smile would have to do. But the knowledge that someone thought that about her, that she was moral and strong, not just an annoyance that needed to be removed was touching

The cold of the room finally hit Katniss, making her wish that she had put her district issued nightwear on earlier. She turned slightly and dropped her towel, grabbed her night uniform and began to put it on. As she did she could feel Johanna's eyes on her back, she assumed that her roommate was looking at the scars that covered her bare skin, she knew that Johanna was also badly scared and that she had seen some of the scaring on her back but Katniss worried that she would be repulsed by her burns.

Johanna of course had no idea that Katniss knew she was being watched, but what she was wrong about was why Johanna was watching, she noticed the scars but wasn't repulsed by them, instead she was impressed. These scars were the proof of what Katniss had done and been through. Scars that the Capitol had not been able to erase to try and hide the pain that it had inflicted.

Katniss slipped her top on over her bare skin hiding her skin from view, she switched the light off without making eye contact with Johanna and slid under her sheets, leaving both women lying there with no intention of sleep, Katniss' thoughts lingered on what had just been said about her, whilst Johanna's thoughts were completely occupied with Katniss' bare back, she knew that it wasn't right, Katniss was here, in this room, because she had done Johanna a favour but Johanna couldn't help herself. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she had trusted someone completely and yet here she was with a woman that she had only known a short time and under extreme conditions but she trusted her fully. To Johanna, Katniss was more than just the Mockingjay or another victor, she was a friend, and in Johanna's books that meant a lot.


	5. Chapter 5

Johanna watched as the woman opposite began to thrash about in her sleep for a second night in a row, she had to admit that she hadn't even noticed Katniss allow sleep to take her, but it was obvious now that she was losing herself within it yet again. Johanna had no idea what to do, remembering how badly it had gone last time, so she stood up and planned her next move, to try and wake her or to soothe her...from a safe distance.

But before she could choose a way forward Katniss jumped up throwing her covers from her screaming for whatever had been in her nightmare to get off her. Johanna lurched forward grabbing Katniss' arms, mostly so that she didn't get punched again but also to try and simply stop Katniss in her tracks

"Katniss! You're safe! It was just a dream!" Johanna wished she could switch the light on to show Katniss that they were the only two in the room but didn't dare let go of her arms.

"Johanna?" Katniss couldn't help but sigh in relief, as her awareness of reality flooded back to her. But with the awareness came the guilt yet again, Johanna was meant to be recovering and yet here she was again being woken by her thrashing around and screaming.

What happened next took Johanna by surprise as Katniss simply crumpled to the floor, still being held by her and began to cry. Sob in fact.

"Hey, Katniss its okay I'm here" Johanna lowered herself to the floor as well and pulled her friend in towards her, hugging her against her body. She couldn't quite make out what she was saying but Johanna managed to make out the basics of an apology

"There's no need to apologise, we're both 'victors' here" Johanna knew that what Katniss was going through was different but she wanted her to know that even if the capitol or president Coin didn't know what it was like to be crowned a victor, a title burdened with loss and blessed in the blood of others, Johanna knew and she was here for her.

Katniss pulled herself in closer to Johanna wishing for just a moment that she could lose herself within the arms of someone that she respected and cared for, an important pair that she didn't feel about for many others anymore.

"Johanna?" Katniss started, before hesitating to ask the rest

"Yes?"

"Would you...Would you hold me tonight please?" Katniss felt about two inches tall, part of her even hated herself for admitting that she was vulnerable and needed someone, especially to Johanna, a woman that she had thought had attacked her once, a woman that she had so little trust in that she wanted to leave behind and form a duo with just Peeta, and more importantly a woman that probably needed someone more than Katniss could ever imagine after being held captive and tortured by the Capitol. Katniss sat in the thick silence waiting for Johanna to either mock her or freak out, but of course neither happened.

"Sure I can" a sarcasm free reply, and even a smile of... Katniss couldn't make it out, maybe relief that she had finally opened up? Or pride that it was Johanna she felt safe with? Either way it wasn't a smile that Katniss often saw from Johanna, a woman that had once laughed manically whilst hot blood stained her face. No, this was a very different woman to the one she knew in the games.

Johanna helped lift Katniss to her feet, put the covers back straight and got into them, laying one arm out over the pillow to invite Katniss back into her arms, she climbed in placing her head on the arm offered. When she felt Johanna's other arm manoeuvre around her mid- drift she finally felt safe and accepted the arm by intertwining her fingers with the woman's behind her. Johanna couldn't believe how natural this felt, she had never cuddled up to anyone like this before. When she was called up at the reaping she had only been 16, too young to be cuddling up with people. And after being crowned a victor her life had changed so much, everyone she had cared about was taken from her and her trust in anyone was quickly taken too. But here, in this room, she was safe and so was Katniss. Both pulled in closer to one another and allowed themselves to face their dreams.

XXXX

The alarm call went off at 7:00 as it did every morning, but neither woman moved, if anything they both made an effort to stay exactly as they were. Johanna smiled when she woke to find a hand still holding onto hers, as well as the fact that both of them had slept throughout the remainder of the night without nightmares.

After about twenty minutes or so of lying there Johanna knew that one of them would have to speak first, because as wonderful as it would be to stay here for the day, she knew it wasn't possible. But the fear that she would receive a reply drenched in awkwardness

"Morning" Johanna wanted the ground to swallow her whole, after all what was said last night all she could think to say was 'morning' one word, mentally kicking herself as she tried to think of something less ridged to say

"Morning" the reply came "Johanna...thanks for last night" Katniss gave her hand a little squeeze

"Any time...So what's on the agenda for our Mockingjay today?" yet another well planned sentence from Johanna, she had no idea how some people managed to be so good with words, people who could say exactly what they wanted to, managing to convey their exact feelings. People like Peeta.

Noticing that Johanna had stiffened Katniss felt disappointed thinking that she was finding this weird, but knowing that they needed each other to get through this war she knew that she would have to get Johanna to be comfortable with this. Both needed emotional support and they were the only ones who could give it. As much as Prim and Katniss's mother tried neither of them knew what she was going through, Finnick was incapable of supporting anyone at the moment as he was barely keeping himself together, Gale wanted to help but as of late him and Katniss managed to rub the other one up the wrong way with no effort at all, and then there was Peeta. The one that Katniss thought she could always rely on but now thanks to Snow only wanted to kill her for misunderstood and even completely fictionalised 'memories'. And so Katniss cuddled back into Johanna until she heard a small sigh of relief and felt the body behind her relax

"I was planning on forgetting all my responsibilities and finding somewhere quiet to stay" Katniss chuckled a little but only because she was being completely serious, she had no intention on listening to Coin tell her that she was too important to risk in war, or spend time trying not to annoy Gale more than she already had.

"In the small supply cupboard?"

"How did you know?" genuine shock caused Katniss to turn ever so slightly making it clear to her just how close the two women were

"Haymitch mentioned it in the hospital to Coin when he thought I was asleep, she was ready to come and get you but he thought it was best to leave you at least one place where you felt like you could escape to" Johanna felt a pane of guilt at not having mentioned it earlier but with all that had been going on it hadn't crossed her mind until now.

"Of course, I should have known that they knew!" Katniss turned back wondering if there was a single place in the whole of this district that she could just be left alone. Even without voicing her thoughts Johanna knew exactly what she was thinking:

"Area Zero" two words that in no way explained themselves

"What?"

"Area Zero, they expect you to go and find a place where you can hide away, so if you stay here it's the last place they will look for you" She couldn't help but smile at the fact she was arguing for Katniss to stay here

"Area Zero" Katniss agreed, it made sense, they would definitely look in the few places she usual went to before they considered checking her room

And so, it was decided, they would both stay here, feeling like they belonged, instead of venturing out into a district that neither respected nor trusted.


	6. Chapter 6

_Tap tap tap_

…

_Tap tap tap_

Katniss shot out of bed at the sound of someone knocking

"Damn it!" She pictured opening the door and finding an angry Coin or even worse a pissed off Haymitch. But as the door opened she was greeted with a small soft smile:

"Prim! Come in" Katniss felt the heaviness in her stomach release as she closed the door behind her little sister and watched as she walked across the room, her little duck tail following behind her as she did

Prim looked down at Johanna who was still in the bed, but assumed that Prim wouldn't notice that she was in her older sister's bed. But Prim was the quiet one meaning that she was able to pick up the little details, like the fact that Johanna's bed, although not perfect had clearly not been slept in recently. More obvious than this was how sheepish her sister looked when she realised that another woman was still lying in her bed. But Prim had worried about her sister moving in with someone who may not be able to comfort and soothe her and so said nothing because if it helped then she supported it completely.

"So what brings you to our corner of the district little Everdeen?" Johanna asked trying to act completely normal, still trying to hide the fact that she had, only minutes ago, been holding Katniss in her arms.

"Haymitch came looking for you in the hospital earlier Katniss, so I thought you'd want warning that he's not in a great mood"

"suppose I better go find him then" Katniss hated the idea, going out of her way to find an angry Haymitch, but she knew that she could only put it off for so long

"What happened to laying low?" Johanna smiled, although she had to admit to herself the feeling of disappointment at being left alone

"Cant let them know about Area Zero can I now" Both women smiled at one another, before Katniss grabbed her clothes and headed into the bathroom to change, because although Prim had helped treat a lot of her wounds she didn't need her sister to be reminded of the pain that she had endured if she could help it.

Prim smiled and nodded at Johanna in the awkward silence between the two of them waiting for Katniss to return. Johanna couldn't help but feel uneasy still laying in the bed of her roommate but didn't know how to leave it without causing Prim to notice that it wasn't her bed, and she obviously couldn't head to the bathroom to end this awkwardness because Katniss was currently undressing in there, so she decided to just stay there and wait for this silence to end.

Thankfully Katniss returned, sensing the nervous tension in the room

"Ok Prim, lets go" she placed her hand on her sister's shoulder and walked to the door with her

"Hopefully I'll be back soon" she felt guilty leaving Johanna, knowing that because of her 'mentally disorientated' band she would most likely just sit in this room until Katniss returned but she knew she could only hide for so long.

"I'll try not to get into too much trouble then" Johanna joked just as the door shut leaving her in silence again, only this silence was worse than the previous awkwardness, this was a lonely, empty silence. And so she pulled the duvet over herself and tried to lose herself in the smell of the woman she had held not ten minutes ago.

XXXX

Katniss and Prim walked in silence, Katniss' thoughts were split between Johanna and the worry that she wasn't ok to be left alone for a long time, and anger at the cheek of Haymitch being angry with her. It wasn't until Prim chuckled that she remembered that she was beside her, her hand still on her little sister's shoulder,

"Have I missed something?" Katniss asked, with very little emotion at all

"You really have no idea do you" Prim couldn't help but chuckle again at her sister's inability to notice things no matter how obvious they were.

"She likes you" Katniss stopped dead in her tracks

"Who likes me?" she asked, knowing perfectly well who Prim was talking about

"Katniss it's obvious, how have you not noticed" Katniss could find no words, what was she supposed to reply to her younger sister when she was talking about another woman fancying her

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed the way she looks at you" Prim patted her older sister on the back and started down the corridor the lead to the hospital, but before she disappeared she turned back to say one final thing

"Oh and Katniss, I wouldn't let them know that she's sharing your bed else they might take hers away, you know waste not want not" with a playful smile she turned back and practically skipped down the corridor. Leaving Katniss stood in the middle of the corridor with no come back, she looked around making sure that they had been alone, which of course Prim knew they were, and shook her head hoping that when she stopped that conversation had all just been part of her imagination. But when that failed she continued on her way to see Haymitch, although she had to admit that she was no longer going to him filled with anger but instead a mixture of confusion of what had just happened as well as the happiness that her sister's only want was for her to be happy regardless of how that happened or who caused it.

XXXX

Katniss walked down the halls yearning for sunlight, wanting to move throughout the woods by herself with her bow and no responsibilities to weigh her down, but she knew that it was too late to wish for that. Instead she inhaled the bitterly stale air of the district and knocked on the door in front of her, knowing that she was going to be greeted by a hurl of abuse

"Where the hell have you been?!" Haymitch yelled "we've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Take it you checked all the supply cupboards?" Katniss couldn't help her smugness when Haymitch looked genuinely bad for not letting her know that he was aware of where she usually was.

"Anyway we have to discuss the next Propos" refusing to reply to her last statement he shut the door behind her and allowed the discussion of the next propos to flow throughout the room

Katniss sat quietly pretending to listen to all the ideas, luckily because she didn't say much anyway no one was expecting her to, leaving her to think about Johanna and what Prim had said. Was she right? Katniss had to admit that her sister was far more perceptive than she was, although it would be hard to be less perceptive, but surely Katniss would have noticed something like that. But the more she thought about the situation the more obvious it became. Katniss discarded anything that happened within the games because that was all just to keep Katniss alive for the rebellion...or was it? The rebellion had already begun and as Coin had made it clear if the Mockingjay was killed then it would give the cause a martyr to fight for, and yet Johanna had put herself in danger several times to save a woman that she barely knew, and from what Katniss had learnt about Johanna she wouldn't risk herself just to fulfil the orders of others. Katniss' mind began to race with the memory of her holding on to the cornucopia when it began to spin, knowing that if it got any faster the little grip she had would be useless and she would be thrown into the water below and almost certainly to her death, but then a hand grabbed onto her, and as she looked up Johanna was fixed on her shouting for her to hold on. Johanna even risked her axe by smashing it into the ground to support the extra weight, but as the speed grew Katniss knew that it wasn't long until the water swallowed her whole. Her grip loosened and as she fell back the last thing she saw was Johanna still trying to catch her and screaming out for her. Katniss' mind continued to fill with all the interactions the two women had experienced together, and how it was Johanna that she had asked to hold her through the night. She had learnt not to trust many people and yet this woman who should have wanted her dead, she trusted fully. Katnis

"Katniss?!" she jumped dramatically at being called on within the room, making it apparent to everyone that she hadn't listened to a single word that had been said. Coin slammed her hands down on the desk in front of her

"Oh I'm sorry does the Mockingjay have more important things on her mind?!" Coin knew that if she pushed Katniss enough that she would break soon enough and then Coin would have to declare her mentally disorientated yet again

"What? No I was just...thinking" even Katniss knew that it was a lame excuse for not listening to an official meeting

"Oh you were thinking? About the rebellion? About the war? About the fires that you started?! Because that's what we are all trying to sort out! Or is that not important enough to you?!" Haymitch tried to step forward to stop Coin mid-sentence but she paid no attention to him.

"I didn't start this! I just got me and Peeta out of the games! That was it! I want to see the capital pay for the lives they have taken as much as you guys maybe even more! But I did not start this!" Katniss knew that she technically did but she had had no idea that any of this would happen, and to be honest all of this now was not her choice she was as much a pawn in the districts game as she had been within the Hunger Games.

"Give over! No one is falling for the star cross lovers pitch anymore! You held out those berries because you wanted to show up the Capitol, and guess what you did! So now you have to pay for your actions and concentrate on this war!"

"Star cross lovers pitch?!" Coin had no right to question what was and wasn't real especially because the whole thing had been initiated by Peeta and yet again Katniss was getting attitude for it

"Well I think we can safely say that you no longer have that to keep you popular considering your fiancé wants nothing more than to see you dead by his own hands!" Coin knew that this was out of line, and that her outburst, to the others was out of character, as she usually played it a lot smarter than this, but time was running out and she needed to keep Katniss away from the war, because she knew that she couldn't control Katniss when she was allowed free within the Capitol armed. This was the only way, and much to Coin's pleasure Katniss reacted.

Jumping up out of her seat and towards Coin, she only had one thing on her mind to teach Coin that talking about Peeta that way was a mistake but before she could reach her several arms blocked her way and as she tried to fight passed them she was effortlessly lifted off the ground and carried towards the door.

"I dont want her drugged! Just tagged! So she can think about what she wants from this rebellion!" Coin knew that to the others this would look like a sign of trying to care from Katniss because she hated being drugged when there were more important things to do. But of course this was not the reason behind it, Coin wanted the others to recall this moment and think of Katniss as the irrational one, and more importantly she wanted Katniss to be forced to be fully aware and conscious when they all went off to war leaving her behind in her room as punishment.


	7. Chapter 7

"What the hell?!" Johanna stood up when the door to her room flew open with Katniss being escorted by a guard who pushed her into the room and shut the door behind her, most likely locking it as he did. She rushed over noticing the bruises up Katniss' arms as she did

"Who did this?!"

"Coin" Johanna looked confused as to how Coin could have inflicted damage on a Victor

"Well Coin's men did" Katniss explained a bit more, thankfully Johanna knew what Coin was like from previous conversations with Katniss

"Finally managed to get you out of action then?" she asked genuinely concerned. Katniss didn't answer instead she just lifted her arm showing off her 'Mentally disorientated' band

"I guess we match now" Johanna smiled trying to lighten the mood worried that Katniss wouldn't find it amusing and instead decide to snap, thankfully Katniss smiled back

"Why didn't she just drug you? Keep you completely out of the way?" Johanna asked whilst leading Katniss to her bed and sitting her down

"Because she wants to me to know that I'm being punished, she doesn't want me out of it and distant from what she wants me to feel"

"You don't have to feel how she wants you to, you need to feel how you want to feel" Johanna had no idea if what she had said made sense in the way she wanted it to but she was sick of people making Katniss be who they wanted her to be

"But that's just the thing, I can't! I'm not allowed to feel what I want to feel or do what I want to do! I'm not even allowed to want what I want!" Katniss was finding hard to fight back the tears as she began to let all her thoughts flow out but one caught Johanna's attention above the others:

"Why can't you want what you want?"

Katniss inhaled as she thought about how to answer, she wanted to push Johanna away and keep her at a distance, she wanted to curl up and ignore everything that was going on, just shut herself away from everyone and everything, but she knew deep down that that had never worked.

"I spent over a year 'wanting' Peeta because that's what the Capitol and the viewers wanted, and then there is Gale who wants me to want him but has told me he 'knows' I'll pick Peeta. Everyone wants the star crossed lovers to win this war and then finally have the impossible dream wedding. And worse than that they think that's what I want as well" the tears were edging forward now filled with guilt as she thought of Peeta who after being tortured was definitely not thinking about their 'dream' wedding. In fact it was because they were the 'lovers without a chance' that he had been tortured in the first place.

"And what do you want Katniss?" Johanna's voice was softer than it had ever been, knowing that this was hard for Katniss she had to play it safely or risk pissing her off

"I just want...I just..." Katniss couldn't end this sentence because she had spent so long living the wants and dreams of others that she didn't know what she wanted...or was that just what she was telling herself to stay safe, was she simply denying her needs to protect herself against adding another weakness to her list. She thought about it, aware of how long the silence had been within the room, but she knew that she couldn't answer unless it was the truth. And the truth was she wanted this, what her and Johanna had in this room was the best thing she had had in a long time. It was the one place in which she could be herself, she could be weak, or angry, she could say what she wanted to about the capitol, the district, the war any of it! And most importantly she felt comfortable here with Johanna, they had formed a bond that no one would have expected nor would they understand. They needed each other, and although Katniss, unlike Johanna, had other people within the district she only felt truly alive and worry free when she was here in this tiny room.

Katniss couldn't explain all of this, there was no way she would ever be able to transform these thoughts into coherent sentences, which is when her body took over and left her thoughts behind. She slowly leant into Johanna, her grasp tightening around the hands within her own that had led her to the bed, she had no expectations of what might follow this moment but she knew that she had to do it. Her eyes were focused on Johanna's lips until for just a moment they moved up to find that the usually alert eyes opposite her were soft, they began to close giving Katniss the confidence that this was the right thing to do. Her lips captured Johanna's, the warmth of the kiss and the sweetness of the other woman's tongue was nothing like the kisses she had experienced before. They were all safe and planned, she put effort into them looking good and not necessarily feeling good, but this kiss had happened because they wanted it to and not because it was needed for survival. Just when Katniss thought this moment couldn't get any more perfect Johanna let go of one of her hands and placed it on Katniss' cheek pulling her in even closer allowing the kiss to continue to grow.

Katniss unconsciously copied Johanna as she moved her hand up to the side of Johanna's neck, her thumb resting on her cheek as their tongues danced round one another and their lips continued to embrace. As the kiss went on even the throbbing in Johanna's lip soothed and for the first time since she had been punched she forgot all about her still swollen lip.

Katniss had never felt like this before, she could hear her heart beating in her chest, her stomach continued to rise and fall, swirling with a mix of nerves and excitement. But even with the nerves she knew one thing, this was right.

She very gently began to push Johanna back, so gently in fact that Johanna had no idea she was moving until her back was upon the mattress, as soon as she realised she lost control of the butterflies within her stomach causing them to move throughout her whole body.

But as quickly as the thrill came, it left as doubt crept into Johanna's mind, after today was this Katniss' way of rebelling against the image of the Mockingjay? Was this her one way to gain some control against the authorities by sleeping with someone, anyone, to finally destroy the creation of the 'star crossed lovers'. The fear that she was using Johanna to accomplish this was too much to wonder and Johanna was forced to pull away from the kiss, leaving Katniss looking upset and confused.

"Johanna?" Katniss whispered worrying now that she was going to freak out or pull away from this, from them.

"Katniss... I just need to know whether this...us...whether it's because you want it...or whether you just want control?" Johanna could hear her voice breaking as she spoke, but for once she wasn't worried about whether she looked vulnerable or weak, instead she was worried that her fears were true and that in questioning it Katniss would realise that this was a mistake.

"What? No! Do you think I would do that?" Katniss knew immediately that this was a stupid question because before now all of the kisses she had shared had an agenda behind them, so before Johanna could answer she continued to speak:

"Johanna, you're the only person I can be myself around, we understand one another, we're safe together" Katniss knew that she was rubbish at expressing her feelings but by the smile appearing on Johanna's face she had done her feelings justice "I want you"

And with that last sentence Johanna leant back in capturing her sweet lips once again. Johanna felt a hand slide under her top and linger on her bare skin of her side. The contact against her skin caused her body to buzz, and before she could stop herself a small groan escaped her throat, when she felt the lips that she was kissing curve into a slight smile she relaxed and placed both her hands under Katniss' top where they were free to roam the skin on her back.

The atmosphere within the room changed from a passionate kiss to a need for more quicker than either woman could have expected, and it was Katniss that was the first to cross the line of friendship as she pulled back from the kiss grasped at the bottom of her own top and pulled it off over her head, leaning back in for the kiss that her lips demanded as she threw the top onto the floor. As the kiss began to grow again Johanna's fingers found their way to the clasp of the bra concealing the chest of the woman on top of her, effortlessly the hands that had been trained to wield weapons of destruction worked the clasp until it fell open. Although Johanna's eyes were closed allowing her other senses to enjoy the lips embracing her own, she knew that the sight of Katniss topless would be nothing like she had ever seen because even though she had seen her roommate naked countless times it had never been at her own hands, and because before now the sight of her bare skin had never been meant for Johanna. But this, now, was meant for no one else but the two of them, not some tactic to get sponsors or some lie for survival, this was real.

Katniss used her hand that had found its way back up Johanna's shirt to push it up from her body and without hesitation pulled it from the athletic body that it obscured, revealing her toned yet petit form. Her hands glided back down to Johanna's bare body that had been free of any bra she noticed just how smooth her skin was, which meant that even with her eyes closed she would be able to trace the tiny ridges of the scars her body wore with no effort.

Katniss broke the kiss, not because she moved away but because she moved in closer as her lips began to kiss a trail to Johanna's neck causing a hand to come up and entangle in her hair encouraging her to continue, until she reached a small spot that caused Johanna to moan. Katniss kissed at the pulse point hungrily as more moans escaped Johanna and her fingers tensed now on the back of Katniss' neck. Johanna's heart was beating so hard that with every kiss she could feel the beat against her lips.

The desire in the room was almost at bursting point now, as Johanna's hand found its way between Katniss' thighs, even through her trousers Johanna could feel Katniss' warmth, she traced small strokes over the material, the contact made Katniss gently bite the neck she had harmlessly kissing up until now. It was this bite that fuelled the actions that followed as Johanna began to push Katniss' trousers down easily getting them over her thighs where Katniss helped pull them off all together, her underwear following with them. Sparing no time Katniss pulled at the material of Johanna's trousers and the band of her underwear, with the help of Johanna wiggling out of them it was no time at all until they too were discarded on the floor with the other unwanted clothing.

Although it was almost immediately that Katniss lowered herself back down to kiss Johanna once again, guided by the hands that gently held both sides of her neck and cheeks, both women managed to take in the whole image of the other, in a way that filled them both with trust and more importantly the feeling that this was right. Because until now being naked was part of the job, as people tried to fix them up and turn them into something that they weren't, a whole new person designed purely for the pleasure of people who had forgotten what true pleasure was. However in this room the imperfections, the truth, was what made it so beautiful, the scarred bodies not prepared for the camera, the natural waves in Katniss' hair from being down, and free from any style, even the blemishes and lines caused by the stress of being a victor apparent on their faces, that was what they saw in each other.

Katniss felt a hand manoeuvre its way down her stomach and to the same place between her thighs that it had been before, but now without the material to obstruct its contact she moaned at the sensation of Johanna's fingers circling her centre. Katniss used one hand to hold herself up whilst the other moved down between their two bodies fighting the desire to rush to be able to touch Johanna, as she wanted to give the same sensation to her. As she reached the desired point she carried on going allowing her to stroke back up Johanna's thigh causing a tremble of anticipation, and then after what seemed like an endless amount of time she reached Johanna's wetness and began to trace the same circles that her body was experiencing. Both women were now kissing each other greedily as they both received a level of pleasure they never thought possible.

Katniss let out a large and, to her, unexpected groan that if she had been more in control would have been Johanna's name as two fingers slid inside her, moving to a rhythm that caused Katniss to break the kiss as she was unable to focus on anything else. The change also caused her to lose the strength in her supporting arm, a reaction that Johanna took full advantage of as she used her weight and Katniss' lapse in control to roll her over onto her back and gain the position on top. Katniss looked up confused by what had just happened only to be greeted by a soft yet playful smile, a smile that Katniss could look at for hours. Johanna returned to drawing out the small circles on the spot that caused Katniss to arch her back ever so slightly.

The act of their love making seemed to freeze time around them, neither of them knew how long they had been lost the moment but as the passion grew so did the intensity of the pleasure, both rocking to a rhythm that caused them to sweat. Johanna knew that she was close to the point of her climax of pleasure, and by the gasping of the woman under her she wouldn't be far behind.

Johanna leant into Katniss' neck kissing it between groans, until she let out the moan of her climax and her body began to shake and tremble with waves of pleasure crashing throughout her entire body. As she continued to shake throughout her pleasure with the scent of Katniss filling all of her senses she smiled when Katniss ridged body relaxed for a moment before joining her in convulsions

"Johanna!" was the only coherent word Katniss managed to get out before her mind was taken over by her climax.

Moments after the height of pleasure both woman still clung to each other trying to catch their breath. Johanna kissed Katniss on the neck one last time before she rolled off to the side of the woman who was still smiling at her.

Neither of them quite knew what to say to each other, but not because they felt awkward or unsure but because neither wanted to break this safe and comfortable silence. Katniss slid her arm under the pillow so that she could wrap herself around Johanna as the covers were pulled up over her, as her arm manoeuvred its way under the pillow something scratched her, with no idea of what it could have been she grabbed the object and pulled it out, revealing a pine cone. It took Katniss a minute to realise that this was the same pine cone that she gave Johanna when she was in hospital to remind her of home, to offer some feeling of hope and familiarity. She couldn't believe that she was holding this exact pine cone, she has assumed that Johanna had gotten rid of it or in all the time in the hospital someone would have thrown it away, but here it was. As she looked up at Johanna, Johanna looked away too embarrassed to keep eye contact in case Katniss found it weird that she had kept the token, but when a hand started to stroke her cheek she knew that she was an idiot to feel embarrassed, especially whilst laying naked next to her. Johanna shut her eyes and allowed the warmth of the hand to take away the doubt in her mind.

"You kept this" Katniss whispered. Johanna looked up with a smile at the pleased tone of the whisper

"Of course I did, it got me through the tough patches in the hospital, it reminded me of home and….and it reminded me of you" her reply was also but a whisper

Tears began to fill Katniss' eyes, no one had ever kept something that she gave them because it reminded them of her and so before the first tears fell she leant in and kissed Johanna. It was the only way she could express just how much it meant to her that she had kept the pine cone.

They wrapped their arms around each other whilst continuing to kiss, until Katniss broke the kiss, placing one final kiss on Johanna's forehead and pulled her in closer and stroked at her short yet soft hair. Katniss rolled onto her back, keeping Johanna as close as she was, and fell asleep smiling as she felt Johanna's head rest on her chest. It took Johanna a little longer to fall asleep as she cuddled into Katniss, listening to her heartbeat until Johanna too slipped into her dreams.


	8. Chapter 8

When Katniss awoke she was worried that when she opened her eyes she would find herself in Johanna's bed alone, that last night had left things weird and that Johanna had freaked out, but as she moved ever so slightly she felt a weight against her, and as she opened her eyes she found Johanna exactly where she had left her, resting on her chest with one of her hands around Katniss' mid- drift. Katniss placed one hand around Johanna, not wanting to ever let her go, whilst her free hand stroked her hair as she slept. Katniss couldn't help but watch Johanna, they seemed worlds away from when she had watched Johanna training with her axe or taking down other victors in the arena, but here Katniss could see her true beauty, she didn't feel the need to be intimidating or hide her emotion, here she could just be herself.

As Katniss continued to play with Johanna's hair she felt her begin to stir, Katniss placed a kiss on the top of her head

"Morning" Katniss whispered as she felt Johanna stir into complete awareness

"Morning" she smiled back, both women were amazed at how natural this felt, neither of them were acting weird or making any effort to move, they both simply cuddled into each other. Johanna was fiddling with the 'mentally disorientated' band around Katniss' wrist, when a thought hit her

"Do you think Coin will really keep you out of the war then?" Katniss could hear the concern in Johanna's voice

"I guess, unless she sees an opportunity to get me killed with maximum camera coverage and minimum suspicion," of course this answer did nothing to calm Johanna's worries. "Why do you think she will?" Katniss knew that Johanna knew little of Coin apart from what she had told her, but she wanted to include Johanna in this conversation, even if only to get her to say what it was that she was thinking

"Honestly I think she will send you in, like you said if you die in war no one will question it" fear tainted every part of Johanna's expression

"Thankfully am prepared for her, anything she throws at me I'll be ready for!"

"If she did send you would you….would you return to…me?" yet another moment in which Johanna couldn't look Katniss in the eyes. Johanna had to admit that she was worried that if the war ended that Katniss would choose Gale or Peeta in the end, the infamous love triangle

"I would" was all Katniss got out before there was a tapping at the door, Johanna jumped out of her skin at the interruption, Katniss however remained calm as she recognised the quiet tap, it was too gentle for an official and too apologetic to be Gale, she removed herself from the bed and threw on her clothes from the floor, pushing Johanna's under the bed with her foot, before opening the door and inviting Prim in.

As Prim entered she saw Johanna still in bed, clearly not wearing much if anything as shown by her bare arms and upper chest the rest concealed by the covers she had pulled up a touch higher upon seeing her roommates little sister. Prim also noticed the pile of clothes that hadn't been hidden quite as well as they had first appeared and finally Katniss' undisturbed bed sheets. All the clues added up to one explanation and her young yet wise smile beamed at her conclusions.

"Katniss I just wanted to let you know that I overheard Haymitch talking to Coin, they have planned to let you remain here for punishment for a few days and then they are going to come and get you for a meeting, thought you may like the warning"

"How did my little sister the healer become so good at eavesdropping all of a sudden?" Katniss joked, Prim simply shrugged with a smug smile "Thank you for the heads up"

Prim hugged her sister before walking to the door knowing that her break would soon be over, but before she left she turned back with her beaming smile

"Oh and I told you" and with her usual bounce of happiness she left the room, leaving Katniss to blush, knowing full well that Prim knew she had spent the night with Johanna

"What did she tell you?" Johanna asked awkwardly, hoping that it wasn't about them because the thought of a little sister knowing that her sister had slept with someone was, in her eyes, weird

"Oh nothing, she's just too observant for her own good!" Katniss smiled at the knowledge that Prim was definitely fine with this. And that finally she wasn't in trouble for going after her own desires.


	9. Chapter 9

And so the days passed with Johanna and Katniss being left alone, other than Prim popping in occasionally to keep Katniss up to date with the little bits of information she found out, no one else bothered them.

These days were perfect, it was the first time for both of them that they had truly forgotten about the Hunger Games, and even the war that was raging on as they continued to live out their time in the room, not as the prisoners they had intended to be, but as lovers.

"I don't want this to end" Johanna said as the two laid in her bed naked after they had finished making love

"I know, but I promise you, when this war is over its you that I'm returning to" neither of them had talked about where they would go or what they would do after this war was won, but neither of them had to because as long as it was together they could live almost anywhere. The only thing they both knew for sure was that when this was all over they wanted to get away from District 13 as soon as possible

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Prim?" Johanna whispered, knowing whether or not she should make herself decent

"No" Katniss knew her sisters knock and this wasn't it, she jumped up throwing her clothes on, whilst Johanna grabbed her clothes and made her way to the bathroom where she could get dressed without bringing up any questions

Katniss ran her fingers threw her hair trying to make it look as tamed as possible before opening the door.

"Gale?!" she didn't know who she was going to open the door to but she wouldn't have guessed that it would be Gale who came to get her

"Coin wants you" his blunt reply surprised Katniss, she hadn't seen him in at least a week and that was all he had to say to her, until she realised that he wasn't looking at her, he was looking from the unmade bed to the evidently quickly dressed Johanna who had just walked back into the room looking sheepish. Katniss knew that he had worked it out, because he always managed to know what she was thinking, there were times that she thought he knew her better than she knew herself!

"I'll be back as soon as I can" Katniss spoke softly to Johanna as she left the room, following a man that she used to be able to call her friend. Neither of them spoke as they walked the halls of the district, gale thinking about how Katniss had managed to choose another person that wasn't him, and a woman that he didn't like at that. Whereas Katniss' thoughts were torn between the desire to end this war, killing Snow by her own hands, and the desperate need not to leave Johanna behind, not knowing whether she would survive this war. The thought of leaving Johanna alone after the war with no district, no friends and no hope was too much for her to think about. Until she knew Coin's plans for her she decided to push all worry from her mind… at least that was what she tried to do.


	10. Chapter 10

The door opened and Johanna jumped up with excitement knowing that only Katniss wouldn't knock before entering, however her excitement quickly disappeared when a made up, waxed and prepped Katniss dressed in her Mockingjay uniform stood in the doorway.

"So she's decided to send you to war" disappointment flooded Johanna's voice

"Yeah I leave in a few hours" Johanna rushed to Katniss embracing her within a tight hug that threatened never to end.

"Have you told your mother and Prim?"

"They've been informed but Coin thinks it's best that I don't see them…but its clear that it's just another form of punishment"

Johanna knew that if they only had a few hours she wasn't going to spend it with Katniss looking how the district wanted her to look, and so as they hugged Johanna unzipped the outfit

"What are you doing?" Katniss asked, not in an angry way but confused as to why when the prep team had put in so much effort Johanna was removing her uniform

"Because if I only have a few hours before you go to war I don't want to spend it with the district's Mockingjay, I want to spend it with Katniss Everdeen, the woman I love" Tears raced to Katniss' eyes as for the first time someone told her that they loved her when no cameras were hungrily watching them

Within moments Johanna was hugging Katniss' bare body, the only evidence left of her prep teams efforts now was the make- up and the Plat that had become iconic in itself. Katniss kissed the forehead against her and whispered back

"I love you too" Katniss pulled away from the hug and took hold of Johanna's top, lifting it up and off her head, because she wanted to be as close to Johanna as possible, and the only thing that could calm her nerves about going to war was the feeling of being completely safe with Johanna so that she had something, other than her family, to fight to return to.

Johanna realised why Katniss was undressing her, knowing that she needed it, took off her trousers and sat down on the bed with her looking at the difference between the pools of clothes on the floor

Johanna pushed Katniss down on the bed, gently but with a demand of authority, Katniss of course allowed her, and took in ever kiss that Johanna placed on her bare skin, her kisses started on her collar bone and worked their way over her shoulders before travelling down her arms and to her stomach

"Johanna?" Katniss questioned, not wanting Johanna to feel that she had to pleasure Katniss out of fear or worry

"Until you leave I want everything to be normal, just the two of us talking, holding each other and making love….Trust me" She smiled letting Katniss know that this wasn't because she was leaving, it was because this is what Johanna wanted, the two had made love countless number of times, each time better than the last, but Johanna had never tasted Katniss and if she was being forced to leave then Johanna didnt want to miss out on a single part of her. Johanna kissed all along Katniss' stomach moving down ever so slightly with each kiss, until her lips met Katniss' centre, her lips brushed the smoothness. She looked up at Katniss and saw pure pleasure, not a woman worried about the next few days maybe even weeks, but a woman who was completely focused on here and now. And so Johanna's tongue flicked out and began to lap up her wetness, overcome by the warmth and sweetness of the body beneath her. She could hear Katniss moaning, a noise that made her tongue lap faster and faster, she began to suck, kiss and lightly tease at Katniss' core, taking in every movement, promising to remember it all. Her hand rested firmly on Katniss' stomach as she did, but when a hand came down to hold hers the feeling of love that flooded her body was like nothing she had ever experienced. Katniss' free hand came down upon Johanna's head gently holding her in place. The hands allowed her to focus her licks on the pleasure spot of the woman she loved until, her back began to arch and the rocking intensified. Katniss' hands showed no signs of letting her go as her grip on Johanna's hand tightened, wanting to keep it in her own forever. And in one final motion of licks Katniss screamed out allowing her body to succumb to the pleasure, shaking as it did.

Johanna left more kisses on the inside of Katniss' thigh before moving up her body and kissing her, the kiss was a desperate one, the need to take in as much sensation of the kiss as possible.

Johanna pulled back cuddling into the crook of Katniss' arm allowing her to stroke the short hair on the back of Johanna's neck, Katniss' whole body began to tingle as she felt delicate fingers run small circles on her stomach. And here the two women stayed. The pleasure that filled the room completely for a while, until the fear of the war began to return tainting the room as it did.

"Katniss, promise you'll look after yourself out there" Johanna hated bringing up the war right now but knew that one of them was going to, and she needed to make Katniss realise that she had to come back from this war. Johanna had already lost everything because of the Capitol and now that she had finally trusted someone enough to fall in love with her she wasn't going to let them take that away as well.

"I promise"

"No really, you can't trust anyone out there, not Snow's men nor Coin's" tears fell down Johanna's cheeks as she thought about all the things that could go wrong out there, Katniss was the face of this war and so everyone would be gunning for her. And even if she managed to survive the people the Capitol held so many unknown traps, a single wrong step could trigger a trap that would steal Katniss from Johanna forever.

"Johanna, I promise you will return, the only things that won't be returning are President Snow, and the Mockingjay because when all this is over I can just be Katniss again" she smiled as she leant in to kiss Johanna again. After that both women simply held on to each other never wanting the time to come when Katniss had to put her uniform back on. But of course that time did come.

Katniss rose from their bed and began to put the uniform back on, knowing that she would have to have her hair and makeup redone and that the team wouldn't be happy about it, and of course Coin would say it was a sign of her not cooperating just for the sake of being difficult. But Katniss didn't care if they weren't happy because she wasn't happy about any of this situation, especially the cheek that Coin had, to dress her up when in her mind she was sending Katniss to her death, which in Katniss' eyes made her no different to the Capitol. When she was finally dressed she walked towards the door, turned around and took hold of Johanna's hands. It felt like she had barely been back in the room since she had entered, everything seemed to go fast, the moments of pleasure, the moments of love all of them had seemed to flash by, but she had expected that.

"Johanna, I love you, and I will return" she knew it had been said but she wanted to reinforce it to try and make this easier on Johanna, of course nothing she said would have made this moment any easier on either of them.

"I know, I love you too, and Katniss you prove Coin right that she was worried you'd be a loose cannon! You make her regret ever punishing you!" Johanna smiled with the spark that Katniss had seen may times before

"I'll make her pay…" Katniss smiled back, before kissing Johanna for the last time before she went to war.

Leaving Johanna stand and watch her walk towards the unknown dangers of the capitol.

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**_Hey guys :) hope you enjoyed it, would love to receive some criticism, compliments and reviews, cause im planning on writing another Joniss fic, so would like to know if i did this one justice :) xx_**


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